T: Did you decide on colors for the wedding?
Me: Can I just say how impressed I am that you're asking about colors?
T: Hey, I got married. I've done this. Give me the colors.
Me: Ok, ok. We're starting with peridot.
Me: Which is basically sage.
T: Which is basically...
Me: Green, T. It's green. I thought you knew weddings?
T: I got married, doesn't mean I know crazy stuff. I more of an 8-crayon box guy.