Countdown Full of Lies!

When I visited the Bridal Fair in August, I signed up for about a hundred things, including preregistration for registries at Belk and Macy's, David's Bridal email listing, and a bunch of random videographers and vendors. Bad for the environment, probably, but I love getting mail and I figured that, while I'm trying to sort this stuff out, I may as well be getting notes or letters with information that might help me pick. One day soon I'll have to bring in a photo of the DJ that keeps contacting me (I believe, from 1982) just so you can see his kickin hair style.

By favorite email so far as been one by OurWeddingDay, which I believe to be a subsidiary of David's Bridal. Anyway, I have no idea what their email is about or what it wants me to do, but it includes this phrase at the start of every email: There are now TKTKTK until your wedding day. Basically, I get the the month, week, and day countdown which, at this point, isn't stressful, only exciting.

B thinks these emails are fishy. They dates never sound right and I'm too, er, busy (sure, that's it) to do the math. Until today.

Today's email said: There are now 7 months , 1 week and 5 days until your wedding.

So I counted. 7 months puts us to May 2. Add 1 week and we're at May 9 (ding ding ding!). Add five days and we're suddenly cruising into my white sand beach time, landing on the corner of my beach towel and May 14.

Not that anyone actually trusts these emails, or (God forbid) relies on them, but still, what about the lone bride that does? These emails tell you exactly what you should be doing this week to get your big day going on time. For instance, mine is dictating that I should have already sent a Save the Date, selected a wedding date (um, yeah. Hence the countdown), and thought about theme, style, and location with the help of my Maid of Honor (Because you've already picked her, right? the website says passive-aggressively). In my "near future," I'm to meet with the florist, book a photographer and videographer, and select a cake baker.

Right now the themes are broad, but come May 9, when the site says I have five days left, it would still be telling me to tie ribbons on my programs and practice five more poses in yoga.

For now, I'll stick with my other countdown calendar, which (as of 8 seconds ago) read:

It is 219 days, 5 hours, 18 minutes and 48 seconds until Saturday, May 9, 2009 at 3:00:00 PM.

Better get on those programs!