2008 Worst Writing Award

Every year, would-be writers submit the first line from their non-existent novels to the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest to see who will claim the title as the year's Worst Writing.

I love it--the contest is named for Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, who began one of his novels with the infamous (and useless) line "It was a dark and stormy night." Ironically, it's likely the most memorable opening line. How many writers (good or bad) can say they've been spoofed or referenced by Charlie Brown?

Anyway, the 2008 winner has been announced and it is a doozey. The winner, a 41-year-old communications director, won by likening a deep love to the streets of New York...

"Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J.'"

My hat's off to you, Garrison Spik. Congrats on your win!