Me: B! Good news! I killed a bug! By myself! Aren't you proud of me?
B: I am proud of you, baby. What happened?
Me: I was cleaning and this bug was sitting on my first aid kit under the sink, so I went and got a shoe to kill it, but it ran toward the cleaning bottles, so instead of using the shoe, I had to just smush it with a thing of drain cleaner.
B: Oh, (pause) well that's still great.
Me: Except I don't know if the bottom of the cleaner bottle is flat, so there may be a groove where it's still alive and living, but the bottle's really heavy, so I figure that when you visit in March, you can check.
B: You want me to check in March and see if the bug is trapped under there or actually dead.
Me: Yes, and get rid of it.
B: But it could just crawl out.
Me: No, the bottle's really heavy and there's no space for it to get out. So it might just starve, which I'm totally ok with.
B: So really you don't know if you killed a bug at all.
Me: No, not really. And I need a new bottle of drain cleaner.