Wedding Planning Moment of the Day

Last night I dreamed that I cut work to spend the morning hanging out with my grandma at her house. I think it was something important and legitimate, but certainly nothing that couldn't wait until our regular Wednesday night church supper date. So dream-me rolls into work around noon and my boss is livid, telling me I can't just come and go as I please, wandering in and out of work. I don't remember why I didn't tell her my legitimate reason for being gone, or at least tell her I was with my grandma, and not out at Starz lighting up the local karaoke scene. But I think I had my first anxiety dream, ladies and gentlemen. Let me explain.

The reason I don't post this blog on facebook or tell anyone at work about is that I'm in somewhat of a predicament. I love my job. I really do. I worked beyond hard to get it and I want to keep it. However, I love B and have no desire to spend my first year of marriage burning up the phone lines between Durham and Birmingham. So where does that leave me? Somewhere between a rock and the unemployment line.

Basically, from the day I got engaged until now, people at work have assumed that B is done with school in May. I don't know if they think law school is a two-year tour or if they've lost track that he started last year (what? your life doesn't revolve around the important details of mine?), but they have assumed he'll be done in May and I have let them assume, not because I want to, but because I felt it was better to wait until we knew B's schedule for next summer. Plus, I'd just gotten engaged! I didn't want to be all killjoy with "I'm engaged! ...And we need to talk long-distance work possibilities." Afterall, if he'd somehow decided not to split the summer between Birmingham and Atlanta, then I'd be negotiating for eight more weeks that I didn't need to.

Last night, he got the offer to come to Atlanta for the summer, so the ship is officially sailing. He (we) will be in Atlanta for eight weeks, then back in Birmingham for four, then in Durham from August until May.

So here's my pipe dream... My job is digital, all online, and in a small department. I'd like to keep it and take it with me, working from home in Durham while we're gone. That way, I'd be happy and someone would be pulling in a paycheck while B finishes school. :) I could come back once a month to Birmingham to attend planning meetings with the New York part of our company.

Sound perfect? I think so. Now I just have to convince my boss (Remember the dream? Alllll coming together now.) and see if we can work out the details. I'm worried that she'll say we're too small to lose someone, that she doesn't seem it working out long-distance, that I'm not worth keeping, that she's always hated my work shoes and now she can finally finally do something about it... come on, if you can't post all irrational fears in the open for someone to read on a blog, where can you?

It's tricky, because, while the could possibly "pause" my job for a year, I wouldn't be able to freelance during that time (company policy to wait six months to one year before full-timers can freelance), so if I get a big fat no and a boot to the door, I'll probably be at square one in Durham. Not the worst thing in the world, just not the most ideal. It's even more complicated because I know the HR lady knows my situation. How? She's married to a partner in one of the firms B worked at. Who threw us an impromptu engagement dinner. I know she knows he has another year to go.

So I worry and stew, but B and I are getting a gameplan this weekend, now that we know about his summer offers, and it looks like I'll be having a big talk at the office next week. Prayers, thoughts, and advice are totally appreciated!