"Has anyone ever told you..."

It started about three years ago that people would stop me and say, "You look familiar." That progressed on to "You remind me of someone." Finally, it culminated in, "Oh my God you look just like Miley Cyrus." That's right, my current claim to fame is having a somewhat striking resemblance to Miley (Not Hannah, her blond alter ego). As Miley's fame (and stock) has risen, so has the number of times I've been cornered while people work through it in their minds and figure it out.

At first, I thought it was an isolated event, just a few people here and there, and then it grew. My boss (in a late night fit of sleeplessness) watched Miley host some award show and came in the next morning proclaiming, "You really do look like her!" A PR rep came to work and was beside herself saying she needed to call her daughter and tell her about me. When I responded, trying to steer the conversation back to the meeting we were suppose to be having, she said, "Oh my God, you even sound like her!" Apparently, it's not only the hair and skin tone, but the voice, way of speaking, and mannerisms. Lucky me! Personally, I think it's just that we both tend to chin-down in photos. By far my favorite comment has been from a long-list friend on my Facebook wall when he wrote, "I just realized you did Miley Cyrus WAYYY before Miley Cyrus did."

When a dear high school friend, H, sent her nieces pictures of the two of us, claiming that she'd met and hung out with Miley (and they believed her!), I knew I was onto something. I'm currently looking for a way to shop my Miley +9 years to Disney. I hear she's leaving the show this year, so we could end with a flash-forward to her life after being Hannah. If it's true that she's over the show, even better! I can do the whole damn thing. Pass me my part of the $3.5 million she makes for the show each season. Even divided by 12 or 24, that's a killing.

I do have to talk to Miley about not doing any more of those tasteless sheet poses. She's killing our syndication value.

I'm used to people stopping me and "working it out" in their minds of who I remind them of. Lately, though, I've started speeding up the process by just out-right telling them. That failed me this weekend, though, when, at the Ritz in Atlanta, the lady at the front desk asked, "Who do people tell you you look like?" She looked confused when I said, "Miley Cyrus," shook her head and said, "I'd say more Maggie Gyllenhaal." So you decide. Who is it, Miley or Maggie? Either way, I'm figuring that I'm underpaid...