On Hold with the Doctor's Office

I used to complain about obnoxious music playing in the background of hold messages while it looped the singular message, "Your call is very important to us, please continue to hold." I could go into the standard rant of if my call is so important, why haven't you answered? which did occur to me as I waited, until one word caught my attention, snapping me out of my daze: Fallopian.

Honing in, I began to listen to what was playing in between the looped messages and now I wish I hadn't. "Fallopian" was preceded by, "Make a tiny incision on the" and followed with "tube to ensure a less-invasive procedure than tubal ligation."

Ack! Was this a reading from the Physicians Desk Reference? A preview of what one might expect when heading to an appointment? That's like calling a bone surgeon and hearing his prerecorded message reading all the wrong and cockeyed ways your bones could heal. And the hammers and saws used to correct them. Like NPR, they'd play a soundbite, then bring in the voiceover, "The buzz saw is best for the sternum, as it is less invasive than the hacksaw."
Good morning!