Monday, June 1, 2009

Wedding Weekend!

Where did I leave off? Oh yes, the bridesmaids luncheon. I took the curlers out of my hair, quit blogging, and headed off to Turtle Point with Mom (sister and sister-in-law to follow after settling the girls with a sitter-- Ethan was the lucky man who got to brave the room of women).

We arrived to find the dining room covered with beautiful flowers and a nice glow from the warm sunshine outdoors. It made me so happy that many of the girls had met before, so they felt fine to mingle. As for me, I basically wandered from friend pod to friend pod smiling like a crazy person that I had so many of my favorite girls in one room!

We settled down to a delicious lunch of pecan chicken on salad with fruit while my aunt and grandma (the hostesses) got to introducing everyone and offering a general welcome. Ninety minutes flew by and before we knew it we were taking pictures and getting glimpses of the guys, who were coming in off the front nine for their lunch next door.

One of my favorite memories is that, apparently, my brother and brother-in-law had been sneaky about what time golf started, which was around 10 am. They left to "hit a few" and "warm up" just before 8 am that morning. Did I mention we live five minutes away? Turns out they sneaked in the entire back nine before the groomsmen ever got there! We laughed that they felt they had to sneak around. Kudos to them for getting more time on the greens.

After lunch, I hugged B and headed home to do a few last minute things (drop our first song CD by the band's store) and change before heading to the hotel. B's brothers had picked out a special gift for us and wanted us to be together, with them, to open it. We met around 3:30 in the hospitality suite (thank you, parents!) to discover that they'd picked out this beautiful silver ice bucket with the most amazingly delicate yet masculine design around the middle. B and I both love love loved it. I can't wait to use it!
The hospitality suite itself was a huge hit and I totally recommend it if you can pull it off! The parents bargained for a better deal for a big suite (one huge balcony, two bedrooms, living room area, kitchen, dining room table, foyer, bathroom, etc), which they promptly stocked with beer, wine, cokes, fruit, waters, bagels, oatmeal, liquor, cheese, crackers, goldfish, coffee, and more. Basically, if you could get yourself to Alabama, you could survive in this room and at wedding-related events the entire time. Plus we had fun stocking it. B and I got so tickled as the boxes, coolers, shopping bags, and hotel carts kept rolling up with food to fit in that (relatively) tiny kitchen! Shockingly, most of the food and drinks disappeared over the weekend (into tummies, down by the hot tub, etc). Not surprisingly, the room was a hit.

Post-present, we headed to the rehearsal, which I was hell-bent on keeping to an hour, tops. We made it out in 45 minutes (you are welcome, friends) and got to go over everything. I walked the wedding coordinator through the entire ceremony, then walked the priest through the entire ceremony, then we actually walked through the entire ceremony (all 12 groomsmen, 11 bridesmaids, 4 flower girls, 1 ring bearer, four parents, bride, groom, and three readers). The flower girls practiced with their petals (and pacifiers, some of them). Green programs were passed out. Notes were written in, especially the one when I asked the priest if he'd say "You may now kiss the bride." He inked it in. Golden! We headed from the church back to the hotels to board the buses and head to the rehearsal dinner.

The rehearsal dinner was amazing. Held overlooking the river out on the back deck of a golf club, the dinner had everything. Waiters welcomed you with Champagne. Trays of appetizers floated around the cocktail reception area. B and I got to mingle, seeing friends and family that we'd missed for too long a time. Then, we headed outside.

B's Mom and Dad had worked tirelessly to make the dinner a hit and, I have to say, it absolutely was. From the beautiful flowers to the sunny tablecloths to the table names (picked for places B & I had lived, visited, or experienced minor league ball in) to the made-to-order sunset that happened just as we sat down, it was picture perfect.

We enjoyed an appetizer of shrimp and fried green tomatoes, a main course of grilled asparagus, cheese grits, and a pimiento cheese-stuffed tenderloin, and a dessert of molten chocolate whiskey cake with a raspberry drizzle. The wine was flowing, we played the slide show (B in funny sweaters, my crooked smile), then the Rose Champagne was poured and the toasts began.

A camera was set up in the corner and I can't wait to see what it picked up, but I have to say that my favorite part of the evening may have been the toasts. We heard from friends and family funny stories from childhood, advice for marriage, or thoughts on the coming day. B's Dad toasted us, saying he picked the menu to reflect each of us; the chocolate cake with B-- crisp on the outside, soft in the middle, and with a stiff shot of whiskey, and the rose Champagne was me--tall, slender, bubbly, and "when she arrives, you know the party can start."

My brothers gave us advice on marriage, loving on another and taking care of one another. B's brothers gave him a good teasing of what it's like to grow up under such a great presence ("Captain, Valedictorian, blah blah blah"). B's friend Ryan shared stories from their trip through Europe, saying how he realized why B was always running off to call me despite their exotic and exiting locale-- when you're meant for each other, it doesn't matter if you have the 999 other puzzle pieces. If that one is missing, it isn't right. Little did he know that the inscription on our rings reads "Puzzle Pieces," for that reason, and more related to our song "Such Great Heights."
I could go on forever. The words, thoughts, and prayers of our friends and family meant so much to the both of us. It's wild-- I sat through those toasts and offerings at my siblings' weddings, but never really thought I'd have that at mine. It was, again, humbling and so rewarding to hear stories of such love and hope for us.

In retrospect, one of the touching moments that meant a lot to all the siblings was Dad's toast. He introduced the siblings, rightfully adjusting the details as his cocktail-party fodder required. My sister and brother said later how much it meant to hear, just 10 days before Dad's death, what it was about them that really stuck out to Dad. What he was proud of, what he wanted to share. Later, in his toast (that's right, he gave two), he called up all my girlfriends in the wedding and had them perform "Daddy's Girl" for the crowd. During the interludes, he'd turn the music down and offer memories, tips, and advice. My brother said later, "It's amazing. Dad didn't know how to pause the music, or slow it down, so instead he wrote--and practiced--his speech to make it fit the time he had."

The lyrics meant the most... funny and still totally Dad:
Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl
I'm the center of Daddy's world.
I know I'm Daddy's number one,
For he loves me like I was his son.
Daddy's Girl.

The last verse meant a lot that night too:
I recall the day that your young man come to call.
Seems like only yesterday you swam and played football.
But I know the time has come, that I must set you free.
But no matter where you are, you know what you are to me.

I haven't been able to watch the video yet. Part of me is afraid that the camera cut off before we got to Dad's toast. Another part is afraid that it didn't. I'll watch it someday, when I have B and a bottle of wine, but not today.

The night ended beautifully. No rain, lovely dinner, amazing friends. We loaded the buses and headed back to the hotels, where I said my good nights and headed home around 11. It was hard to leave, but I had to get some sleep! The party raged on into the night in the hospitality suite. Crazy kids. And by kids, I mean B's parents' friends. Love it!

Saturday morning, I woke up at 8 to the sound of torrential rain. I decided to be benevolent and pray for the girl having the outdoor wedding at the rehearsal dinner site later that day. After all, she needed sun, and if I got a little too, what was the harm? God blessed us and the skies cleared around 10, leaving the rest of the day partially cloudy or perfectly sunny. Fabulous!

I got up and started doing my hair. Did it once, unsatisfactorily, and (to my Mother's silent chagrin), tore it all down ten minutes before we were to leave for the church. She patiently helped me put it back up and we headed to Sam's (yes, Sam's) for ice, Chick-fil-A for nuggets (woohoo!), and then onto the church where we set up the massive bridal party buffet and welcomed my make-up lady into the parish house. We snacked then got down to businesses finding the best room for make-up light as the girls began to trickle in. The snacked, applied make up, and got ready as I got all dolled up. Al, the amazing video man, captured every eyelash on camera, and the photographers got there in time to tell me to get the dress on and get this show on the road!

Pictures went well. B and I didn't want to see each other before, but I had to sneak a peek out the window while they were doing groomsmen photos on the baseball field across the street. So handsome! We did an "anticipation" shot, where our hands were touching around a door, but we couldn't see each other.

Some of my favorite photos of the day were the ones with the flower girls and ring bearer, my nieces and nephew. My (magical, amazing) sister pulled a bag of mini marshmallows out of her diaper bag and started bribing the kids with them to stay in the shots. We went one better and eventually loaded the mini sugar bombs straight into my bouquet (sorry, Carl) so that they would a) stay near me, b) smile, and c) maintain a decent sugar high for most of the day (sorry parents).

Before I knew it, 4:00 rolled around and it was time to get the show on the road. It happened in such a flurry. The bridesmaids were gone, the kids were gone, and it was just Dad and me standing outside the church. I heard later that the kids were a hit... no flowers were dropped, Ella ran in yelling "MOMMY! I have FLOWERS!" and Sienna wandered off toward the guys' side of the bridal party, all this after Alex broke rank and tore down the aisle mid-bridesmaids without, of course, his pillow. Outside, I remember Dad turned to me and said, "I have the medicine you wanted for your honeymoon. I'll give it to you tomorrow, I won't forget." And then we went.

I remember walking down the aisle, pausing to look back at the photographer, locking eyes with B, being aware of my smile and the guests that seemed to pack the church.

Then Dad and I were at the front, "Her Mother and I do," he said, letting me walk ahead before crossing over behind me (that's a well-experienced wedding Daddy move right there!). B and I walked up the steps to the alter, had our prayer, sat down, and it hit me, "Holy hell, I'm on the alter! How did I get up here? Did I walk?"

The ceremony was lovely. First reading, second reading, homily, vows, rings, then... crickets. We were suppose to go into a rose ceremony, in which B and I would give roses to our Mom's, giving us a selfish chance to hug them and acknowledge the new additions to our families, then a third reading (from The Velveteen Rabbit), then a blessing and charge, then the announcement of us as a couple. Instead, the Abbot sailed straight from the rings to the announcement, telling us to face the crowd as he did it.

I turned, somewhat confused as to what was going on and saw the strings trio on the balcony jump into action. Only instead of playing Ave Maria, they started our recessional! B and I looked at each other then turned back to the Abbot. "We're not done," I said. "I don't know what to do," he replied. It was then that I noticed that the program was missing from his reader and he seemed to have lost his place. B's Dad told us later he could see him furiously flipping through the pages, unsure what to do next.

So B and I walked down (to our recessional music, mind you) and hugged both Moms and my Dad. "Stay the course," I told him, giving the trio an evil eye that I can only hope Video Al caught on camera. I told B later that, had he not been mic'ed, I would've leaned over to the priest and, in not so many words, told him to get his act together. Later I just felt badly for him. I'm sure he knew he messed up, and he certainly didn't mean to do it. Bless his heart.

It was all worth it, apparently, when the guests saw the Abbot's face when, instead of leaving out of the church, B and I marched back up onto the alter. Ha! A: 1, Catholic Church: 0. My brilliant sister leaned over during the rose ceremony and had this lovely exchange with him:
K: Tell him to kiss her.
Abbot: What?
K: Kiss her! Tell him to Kiss her.
Abbot: What?

She told me later that, if she'd had to kiss this Abbot to make him get the point, the whole church might've gone up in flames. Luckily, he did seem to get that, if he let us kiss, I'd call it even. So he announced that B could lay one on me and, the crowd cheered as we kissed, I raised my bouquet in (partial) victory, and we recessed out of the church. As B and I rounded the church, we finally realized that the Abbot had left off about half of our ceremony. At least we got the vows and rings in!

We made quick work of the church pictures, then headed via limo to the reception site, where our wedding party was waiting. We made more pictures there, then headed out front to make our entrance. It was about 10 seconds before the golf cart arrived at the front door that I realized that a) we were about to have our first dance and b) my dress wasn't bustled. Oops. So I half bustle it while riding on the cart, B helps me in the parking lot ("If my Daddy catches you under there...), and then my dear bridesmaid and friend MB arrived out of the clear blue to finish the job before ushering us inside.

My sister and B's Dad offered amazing, heartfelt toasts, then B and I danced our first dance. After that, I got to dance with my Dad. I'm so thankful for that memory. I had decided to do what my sister did at her wedding and dance with Dad and the brothers during the traditional father-daughter dance. It was perfect and wonderful and I wish I could remember every movement of that 45-or-so seconds we had together. Lloyd said later, "I'm so glad we waited," meaning that he was going to come out after 30 seconds, like I'd specified, but decided to let Dad have a few more turns.

After the dances, B and I headed to the cake tables to admire the gorgeous, tasty, and hilarious concoctions that awaited us, mine a towering white and green ribbon beauty with live flowers, B's a replica of a baseball stadium, complete with jumbotron, in fondant.

After that, we got down to greeting our guests and enjoying the reception. We got a Princeton picture to send to our alumni magazine, and the large family photos with everyone on all sides together, plus a Christmas card photo for Mom, featuring our immediate family of...16.

I have such amazing memories of drinks from the martini bar (which I never saw!) and moves on the dance floor by my favorite flower girls dancing to the tunes of our band, the Midnighters. B and I danced, mingled, shared laughs, and were amazed when finally, suddenly it was time for our last dance and for us to (gasp!) leave!

The one big thing (besides, oh, the cakes, the ceremony, the dress...) I'd asked Dad for, and had made his special project, was fireworks to end the night. I wanted them because, well, fireworks are fun, but so many people thought we picked it because that's how so many baseball games end. Sure! We'll take that symbolism. I'm so glad I asked. There were so many times leading up to "the big day" that Dad said, "the only thing that'll make me sad is if I find out there was something you wanted that you didn't get." It made it so much easier to say, "Um, Dad, I asked for fireworks. Do you really think there's something I left off the list?"

The fireworks shot off (from the 18th fairway, to B's chagrin) as our guests gathered on the back yard and balcony to enjoy the view. We were amazed how long--and how good--they were! We expected bottle rockets and got the Fourth of July instead. If you need a fireworks guy in the TN, AL, GA, NC area, give me a shout! Matt was amazing.

After the fireworks, we raced through the arch of sparklers to the waiting limo. I hugged Mom goodbye and got inside, where we found a box full of delicious reception food including shrimp and grits, crab legs, crab cakes, cheeses, pork tenderloin, and cake. We had enough food in that box to feed an army... or at least the two of us later that night, then my family again the next day when we dropped off the leftovers.

The one thing I'm most thankful for is the next-day brunch that my parents' friends threw for us. As B and I pulled away in the limo, I looked out my window to see my Dad propped against the gate in front of the country club. I thought about telling the driver to stop, so I could jump out and give him a hug, but I didn't. Not sure why. I know I didn't want to startle the driver, or scare Mom and make her wonder why we had stopped the car. I'm just so thankful that I did get to hug Dad again, to thank him that next day at the brunch.

We drove off to the hotel, where the driver opened the door for us and told us that he'd lost his wife of 45 years only a few months ago, and that we should always love each other and listen to each other. In fact, if you need a good limo man, give me a call!

We walked inside, B in his tux, me in my dress, to a lobby full of little leaguers in their uniforms and a few scattered congratulations. I'll let those Moms and Dads handle that conversation!
The next day, we got up and headed to the farewell brunch at my parents' home, arriving around 11 to a crowded house packed with out of towners, family, and the wedding party. B and I visited until about one, then finally packed a lunch, packed the car, and headed out on the road to Atlanta, where we'd spend one night in a hotel, have a fabulous dinner at Ecco, then fly out the next morning for Virgin Gorda. Let's be honest. B drove to Atlanta. I slept, waking only for a Wendy's snack and the tease of a DQ milkshake (five exits too late, but B did offer to go back, for the record-- he's reading over my shoulder and just piped up with "What? You could've had it!").
The time I was awake, we kept reliving moments. Guests who came, guests we missed, and fun moments that one of us caught, but the other missed. I loved hearing about his Friday with the boys, and his Saturday morning, the times I'd missed him. Married. Wow.

2 comments:

J said...

that pecan chicken salad was EPIC.

~Mariah~ said...

For the record, I'm pretty sure I "stage wispered" KISS HIM too. ~;o)