I'm Engaged... What Now?

A dear girlfriend and former roommate just got engaged and said she was looking for the book, "I'm Engaged, What Now?" Trying not to be too into giving advice to the newly engaged, I figured I'd write my thoughts here, in case she ever decides to check the blog and see, in looking back, what I learned from my time as a fiance.

I'm Engaged... What Now?

1. Enjoy yourself. One you pick a date, the train leaves the station and you're officially on the countdown, both mentally and physically. Unless you're hellbent on being married by, say, Thanksgiving, don't fret about not having a date. Just enjoy your new status. Engaged!

2. Know thy budget. Before you get heart-set on anything (a location, a dress, a ring, a band...), figure out what your budget will be. It doesn't matter where the money is coming from (you, your soon-to-be spouse, your parents, his parents, the lottery...), what matters is that you know how much you intend to spend. Then follow those nifty checklists that tell you to devote 10% to this and 15% to that. While your bride status is new, unique, and lovely, the process has been done. Don't reinvent the wheel!

3. Figure out what's important to you: Part 1. What wins: Date or Location? If your heart is set on a location, then be flexible with your date to make it work. If you must get married on a certain day, then you may have to pass on location one, should it happen to be booked.

4. Figure out what's important to you: Part 2. What are you excited about? The dress? The invitations? The flowers? The cake? Pick the things you want to focus on, work on your ideas, and themes will start to pop out on their own. If you're passionate about everything, more power to you! My favorites? The dress, the favors, the welcome bags, the cakes, and the flower girls/ring bearer, so I spent more time on them, punting the flower decisions, etc to my dear Mom (love her!).

5. Do one thing a day. This time is meant to be enjoyed, so enjoy flipping through magazines one day, experimenting with a signature cocktail the next, and browsing flowers online the following. If you're engaged a full year ahead, spend the day of your wedding (one year in advance) seeing what the weather's like, when the sun sets, what flowers are in season, and what the humidity is doing to your hair.

6. Enjoy it! Tell everyone to bug off (or do go ahead and book/do as they please) and just enjoy being together. The week after B and I got engaged was so fun. It was his last week in Birmingham and we packed it with fun dinners, nights out, time with friends, and special lunches. It's about the two of you. Reinforce that!

So that, dear friends, is my unsolicited advice, sent off into the great beyond. I loved planning the wedding and would do it again in a heartbeat, provided I could stay married to B in the meantime. Hm, maybe that's a good tip: Sneak off and get married first, then plan the wedding. I'm betting you'd be much more relaxed!

PS... Hilarious. This picture links back to a page about how to avoid post-wedding blues. Did you know there's a "condition" called Post-Nuptial Depression? And if you think it's about realizing you married the wrong guy, you'd be wrong.