Embarrassing

Sometimes things come to mind that I want to share here (and therefore document for my future best-selling memoir), but then I get embarrassed and back out. I thought I was pretty tough for sharing my teeth-whitening escapades, but never did get around to sharing about -- Ha! My battery almost died. Clearly that's a story for another day.

Anyway, the real point here is that one of my favorite stories of B & I lately hasn't appeared on the blog because I want to maintain my ladylike status, if only in my (and my Mom's!) head. But, I feel like it so perfectly demonstrates how B and I are getting more comfortable with one another and settling into our marriage. (After this much build up, you're likely to be thinking of this as a way cooler story by now.)

So anyway, on the way home from the beach a few weeks ago, B & I pulled away from the restaurant and I unceremoniously announced "Look, I'm going to have to go to the bathroom soon." "How soon?" asked B, as we pulled onto I-40 at exit 408. "If we make it to 370, it'll be a miracle," I replied.

Off we went, driving along. 370 came and went. "Doing ok?" asked B. "Yeah," I said. "Too lazy to make you stop right now." (Editor's Note: The three glasses of wine I'd imbibed probably added to my lack of enthusiasm.)

Well, 370 turned into 300, at which point we were reaching a dire situation, but only 30 miles from our exit. Why does 30 miles seem like nothing on paper? That would've taken a whole week playing Oregon Trail!

So we get to our exit and arrive at our complex, where the following conversation took place as B navigated the roads to our apartment:

Me: Want to stop for the mail?
B: Seriously?
Me: Yeah, that won't be happening. If you stopped for the mail, I think I'd have to run.
B: What if I went into the bathroom first?
Me: What?
B: Maybe I have to go.
Me: If you go into that bathroom, I would go get your Under Armor basket and pee in it. And not tell you. Ever.
B: Until I found out.
Me: Obviously.
B: So here's the plan, I'll give you the keys...
Me: Smart man.

Granted, it was after midnight so we were punchy, but it made me love B so much to know that he can laugh at me and at us and at the whole situation. I'm sorry, dear proper self, but sometimes you just have to make empty threats with bodily fluids.